Hi guys, it’s been a while but I’m back today with a quick post on how we address our fear of failure. This is a common issue with a lot of us and can prevent us from making that big life/career move, we all experience failure and rejection in our lifetime but how we bounce back is more important. The most important thing to remember is that setbacks are disappointing but can be redeemed with perseverance and a positive attitude.
Two of my favourite books are The Chimp Paradox and The Silent Guides from Dr Steve Peters. They have been hugely influential in helping me develop a positive self-image and manage my chimp to not overreact to setbacks. Low-confidence and fear of failure are unhelpful habits that originate in childhood, too often, when we are made to do a task that involves potential failure, many of us refuse to engage, this is because of possible comments and opinions from others. For example, if you were learning how to tie a shoelace as a young child and got shouted at for not succeeding, then the fear of failure is likely to have arisen from this which can take years for us to turnaround. Peters suggests an effective method of just imagining that no one is about to know the outcome is likely to be effective.
Some people base their fears of the consequences of failing which is a different thing. Again, Peter suggests another method of putting perspective on the situation. This time to imagine that you’ve taken off in a helicopter that is hovering above the situation and to look at your life as a timeline from start to finish and ask how important will this situation be in 5-10 years time, you are likely to understand that this situation will pass and not have much relevance in the future as very little in life is significant in the long run.
In addition, an successful outcome would need a plan to move forward as failure to do so will mean your chimp will continue to kick-off and complain. As mentioned, the best way forward would be to climb into the helicopter and realise that setbacks can be redeemed with perseverance and to start again with a blank slate. Starting from where you are and what you’ve got is far more encouraging as you will see progress consistently whereas starting from where you want to be is highly likely to be a source of stress as everyday, you’ll realise how far behind you are.
All in all, if you are struggling in life, don’t beat yourself up, it is extremely unhelpful, all you can do is your best and disappointments are part and parcel of our journey to success. True friends like us for our values and who we are not for our achievements or possessions. In the meantime, why not have a look at my review of The Silent Guides.
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